Some Of My Best Friends Are... (U.S. 1971)

The Gist:

Patrons gather in a Manhattan gay bar on Christmas Eve 1971 for what will end up being a tumultuous evening of high drama. 

Comments:

The movie has a reputation of being a depressing artifact of the time it was made. A position that is hard to argue with. After all, consider its famous last line, spoken when two bartenders shutting down the bar for the night realize they have locked someone inside and say: "Leave him there until morning. Where else does a faggot have to go?" 

Fun times. 

This may be post Stonewall Riots New York, but no one has told anyone in the movie. Many, though admittedly not all, of the gay characters actively believe they are somehow damaged and deserve oppression. Part of that attitude though is that everyone in the bar is some sort of stereotype or another, and boy are there are a lot of them. There are too many characters and story lines to develop very deeply, although character growth doesn't seem to be a very high priority in this jam packed bar. 

Interestingly, the movie is filled with well known or upcoming (for the time) TV and movie actors, which gives the bar an odd sort of familiarity, as if the people here were one cab ride away from being in a "very special episode" of All in the Family. We have:

• A straight mafioso who owns a gay bar
• A fussy sissy waiter who speaks in an affected voice so high that the man he's been speaking to on the telephone doesn't realize he is not a woman
• A bisexual airline pilot (Gil Gerrard) with a heart of gold (more or less) who is feuding with a vindictive fag hag (Rue MccLanahan)
• A belligerent self-hating hustler (Gary Sandy)
• A tortured, married, closeted man who takes hot showers to try to wash the homosexuality off of him after he has sex with his hot Swiss ski instructor lover (who for some reason goes around wearing thick blue eyeshadow)
• A woman with a secret (Candy Darling of Warhol fame) 
• A bar hostess (Fanny Flag) whose job duties includes dancing with gay couples (because in this time it is illegal for men to dance together).  

This is only a partial list of characters. There are so many people and a lot of stuff going on here. Much of it arguably sad. Perhaps because of that sadness, the movie comes off as a plea for sympathy. Not because homophobia is wrong, but rather because these poor twisted people's lives are so screwed up that they deserve the viewers pity.

'Don't hate the fags, the poor wretches got enough troubles of their own' is not exactly a positive 70’s pro gay liberation rallying cry, and the movie is definitely not a high point in LGBT pride, but it is an interesting look at a certain view of late 60's / early 70's queer culture. 

The stories are messy and sad (and if you have issues with feminine men, likely annoying as well), but I think it is worth watching to see how we were once viewed and how far we have or have not come since then. 

Women:

Yes

People of color:

Yes

Gratuitous nudity:

Very brief nudity, though in a very 70's realism way, so natural may be a better adjective than gratuitous 

• Director: Mervyn Nelson
• Writer: Mervyn Nelson
• Actors: Fannie Flagg, Rue McClanahan, Candy Darling, Gil Gerrard, ...
• 110 min
• IMDB

Vampire Boys (U.S. 2011)

The Gist: 

According to the rules of vampirism (as presented in the movie) our main vampire guy must find a lover to spend eternity with before his hundredth 'deathday' or else he and all those he 'turned' will die, or whatever the term is for when an undead creature croaks. He only has a few days to decide between a young woman eager to become murderous creature of the night, or a clueless young man who doesn't even know vampires exist. Oh, who are we kidding, this is a gay horror flick, of course he's going to choose the pretty young man. A choice that will have (obvious) consequences. 

Comments with what amount to major spoilers, but don't really matter:

Seemingly there is a lot happening here, from several (boring) murders, to roommate angst, to the sudden odd injection of the first few minutes of a bisexual porn scene before the movie finally reaches a climax where for a couple minutes it almost, nearly achieves actual action; but in truth, there's barely any story here. Pretty much all that happens is a vampire chooses a twink as his new boyfriend and there's a disagreement regarding if he could have made a better choice. The end. 

Granted there's an hour of material before "the end" happens, but most of that hour is dominated by terrible acting, horrible dialogue, scenes referencing Twilight, shirtless sunbathing vampires, and weird story conventions where our murderous vampires are treated as "good guys" because they're attractive and have great abs or something. 

Unusually the expected 'sex equals death' horror movie trope scene involves a bisexual threesome, with a young woman and two guys who for whatever reason decide to get it on in the middle of a hiking trail. It's an odd scene. Almost explicit, at least compared to the way sex is treated in the rest of the movie. There might be an interesting idea here that transgressive sex in a gay movie means sex involving a woman. Then again there could have been no more thought to it than just allowing the two actors willing to go full frontal nude an opportunity to do so. 

I'm not a big fan of the horror genre and it is possible that I'm just not "getting" the movie.  That it is more than just a poorly made, cheap grab at cash from gay fans of Twilight style pretty boy vampires, who presumably would fork over money for a flash of tight abs and a couple of visible semi flaccid penises.  I doubt it though. 

Women:

A couple, though both barely have lines

People of color:

A couple 

Gratuitous nudity:

Yes

• Director: Charlie Vaughn
• Writer(s): Jeremiah Cambell (screenplay), David S. Sterling, Jeremiah Cambell (Story)
• 70 min
• IMDB 

Angora Ranch (U.S. 2006)

The Gist:

Justin, a young guy who does not get along with his father ends up having to stay over night at the home of Jack, a man old enough to be his father (who in turn also has father issues he is dealing with). They fall into instant love despite the half hearted protests of the older man. Drama ensues. 

Comments:

Unfortunately the movie has problems. A common outcome in many low budget movies where the writer, director, and lead actor are all the same person. In this case Paul Bright, although unlike Altitude Falling, his other May / December gay romance movie between an older man (him) and a guy young enough to be his son, the pairing in this movie is not creepy, just dull. Which is the main issue here, the story is just not interesting. 

Younger gay Justin has issues with his overbearing father and things happen. Older gay Jack has issues with his father who is in the first stages of dementia and things happen. Things get soap opera level silly at the end of the movie, but for the majority of time it's just a rather sedate story with occasional flashes of butts as the leads get in and out bed.

Beyond dullness there are also issues with poor acting, stilted dialogue, horrendous singing, and strange story decisions, such as having everyone in a small, podunk, deep in the heart of Texas town be not only super gay friendly, but also aggressively eager to hook up a young kid with their middle aged friend. The other oddity is in casting with Jack and his father looking more like brothers than parent and son, Apparently the actor playing Jack's father was his real life partner (who died after the movie was made).

Technical issues aside, the basic idea is not necessarily bad: a flawed man meets a younger guy and they make a go of it. It's just that the movie makes the story uninteresting. 

Women:

A couple 

People of color:

No 

Gratuitous nudity:

Occasional bare butts

• Director: Paul Bright
• Writer: Paul Bright
• Actors: Paul Bright, Thomas Romano, Tim Jones
• 96 min
• IMDB