Men to Kiss (Männer zum Knutschen) (Germany 2012)

The Gist:

Ernst and Tobi are the classic opposites attract couple. Ernst being a bit of a square while Tobi is a wild free spirit. All is well (more or less) In their lives, until Ernst's best friend Uta moves back to Germany, and she and Tobi immediately hate each other. Crazy plots, wacky hijinks, and (comedic?) threats of death to defeat their "enemy" and "win" Ernst for themselves ensue.  

Comments: 

This movie is a sequel of sorts to another one I've discussed here, Alex and Leo. "Of sorts" because the leads of the other romantic comedy, the somewhat boring and not entirely believable as a couple, Alex and Leo, have broken up and are only very minor characters here, having been replaced as the focus of story by their best friend Tobi and his new boyfriend Ernst. The two new men are also not entirely believable as a couple, though at least they have the benefit of not being boring. 

In the previous movie, Tobi was an campy queen whose major character trait was that he was  flamboyant and mean. This time around however his personality has been slimmed down, losing being an asshole in favor of merely being outrageous. 

Other differences between this movie and previous one is that this story is more interesting and marginally better. Which is not really praise since that means that instead of bad, it's only okay. It starts off well enough, amusing and engaging, but the frankly weak story very quickly runs out of steam. The insane antics as Tobi and Uta work to get rid of their opponent should be funny and keep the story engaging, but instead it started feeling like work to sit through it instead of entertainment. 

Women: 

Yes

People of color: 

One 

Gratuitous nudity: 

Some

• Director: Robert Hasfogel
• Writers: Juergen Hirsch, Andre Scheider
• Actors: Frank Christian Marx, Udo Lutz, Alexandra Starnitzki 
• 83 min 
• Note: Dialogue is in German with occasional lines in English
• IMDB 

Alex and Leo (Alex und der Löwe) (Germany 2010)

The Gist:

Timid Alex and subdued Leo, who have just broken up with respectively, a boyfriend and a girlfriend, meet and are obviously attracted to each other. Alex introduces Leo to his group of friends, two women and an annoying gay man, who are all wacky when not being morose. Will Alex and Leo do anything about being obviously attracted to each other such as immediately jumping into a serious long-term relationship before the dust settles from the disasters of their last relationships? 

Comments (with obvious spoilers):

The movie is a romance comedy that doesn't quite work. There are low budget issues and 'meh' level of acting skills, but even ignoring those, it doesn't solve the movie's main problem, that it's kind of boring. 

There's some very minor character development, mainly in the leads becoming slightly less meek by the time the story ends, but other than that, not much really happens other than Alex's friends alternating between being weird and kooky, or hungover and morose. Unfortunately neither extreme is interesting. To qualify, the women are kooky and or morose; the annoying gay friend is just written as an asshole. So much so it's not clear why anyone remains friends with him. 

The other not clear thing is just why Alex and Leo are so into each other. That's partially due to the actors having no 'chemistry' with each other, but also due to the way the characters are written. That's not to say they would not have had sex. That's totally plausible. It's the falling in love and wanting a relationship that didn't ring true. 

The movie is also somewhat disappointing in that sexuality is rather rigidly limited here. Leo, who has spent the past four years in a relationship with a woman, isn't allowed to be bisexual, fluid in his preferences, flexible, not strictly heterosexual, or just "unlabeled." Instead there only two options, 100% gay or 100% straight, so being with a man means he must be gay and his prior relationships with women all lies.

On the positive side, there are some funny bits, and there's a certain raw charm to the story. I guess for some folks it would also be a plus that Marcel Schlutt who plays not-straight Leo has done porn. He doesn't actually get full on naked though and he's only okay as an actor, so if that's the only draw, it's not worth it. 

I intended to write that the movie was okay even if it was not worth seeking out, but given all the words I'm using here, from poor acting to boring to disappointing, I guess okay is too positive an adjective. 

Women: 
Yes

People of color:
One person has one line

Gratuitous nudity: 
Sort of. There's a sex scene that nearly, but doesn't quite show butt

• Director: Ives-Yuri Garate 
• Writer: Andre Schneider
• Actors: Marcel Schlutt, Andre Schneider, Sascia Haj, Udo Lutz
• 96 min
• Dialogue is in German
• IMDB

Food of Love (Spain/Germany 2002)

The Gist:

18 year old Paul, an aspiring pianist with a promising future, is hired to be a page turner at a concert for a world famous pianist where he becomes an instant object of attention for both the pianist, Kennington, and Kennington's agent/boyfriend. Six months later while on holiday in Barcelona with his mother, Paul once again meets Kennington, where after some astonishingly cheesy pickup lines are said, they begin an affair that will impact their lives.  

Comments (with spoilers important and not):

Our young Ganymede is apparently so attractive that older gay men fall into such strong lust with him they easily ignore the fact that he's a self-absorbed cruel brat. A good thing for Paul considering he has a thing for older guys he'd never have a chance with if they paid attention to his personality. 

Beyond Paul, his mother is written as a hysterical willing victim (her husband having left her for another woman, and her son continually berating her for the crime of existing), and the Kennington and his agent/boyfriend are both little more than scared jerks. The end result of all this angst and people acting badly is that I never got around to caring about any of them.

I was instead distracted by a minor detail. Paul goes to New York for schooling. Once there he comes out of the closet and starts building his identity as a gay man, right at the same time as he goes from gifted, promising, upcoming musical talent to being merely competent with limited future. I assume there is not supposed to be a correlation between the two, but it's easily read that way, and the idea that being openly gay and happy destroys his musical talent seems... odd. 

Regardless of my issues, it's a good movie. The story is well told and well acted (more or less). I just didn't care about it. 

Women: 

Just two of any importance, Paul's mother and his music teacher. 

People of color:

No

  

Gratuitous nudity: 

Some quick butt shots

• Director: Ventura Pons
• Writer: Ventura Pons
• Actors: Kevin Bishop, Paul Rhys, Juliet Stevenson
• 112 min
• Based on the novel The Page Turner by David Leavitt
• IMDB

Guys and Balls (Männer wie wir) (Germany 2004)

The Gist:

Ecki is the golden boy star goalie of his town's football (soccer) team. That is until he's accidentally outed one drunk night after a bad game. After he is kicked off the team for being gay, he vows to form a gay team to play against his former teammates, heading out to the big city to do just that.

Comments (with spoiler):

This is pretty much the definitive "Gay athlete joins a gay team to victory" movie. That is: 

1. Athlete comes out/is outed.
2. Athlete gets kicked off team.
3. Athlete joins an existing or forms a new rag tag gay team
4. Gay team plays his old straight team and wins proving that gays are just as tough as the straights! 

While all this technically counts as a spoiler, the story should not be a surprise to anyone who's ever seen a movie before. While fairly predictable, the movie is actually fair to good, though with some issues. 

Considering some of the jokes, and that the gay team ends up being an assembly of assorted gay stereotypes, it's pretty clear that the movie was written/intended for a wide audience not too familiar with gay culture. Although to be fair, the S&M guys and others are much less over the top than you would expect in an American movie.

Despite this, it's still worth a watch if you feel like something unchallenging and cute, though obviously not if you hate soccer.

Women: 

Sister, mother, would-be girlfriends, in other words, the real world

People of color:

A few of the gay teammates

Gratuitous nudity:

Some minor locker room stuff as a joke

• Director: Sherry Horman
• Writer: Benedict Gollhardt
• Actors: Maximilian Brückner, Dietmar Bär
• 106 min
• IMDB

Romeos (Romeos ...Anders Als du Denkst!) (Germany 2011)

The Gist: 

Lukas, a young German transsexual man in the processes of transitioning has been, much to his annoyance, assigned to female housing during his civil service. 

Luckily, a friend from his home town, Ine, is already there, and through her he meets a new group of largely gay and lesbian friends including Fabio, the closeted "Alpha Gay" of the group. There is an instant bond between the two, and as their connection deepens, Lukas must deal with the risks and consequences of coming out to Fabio. 

Comments:

The movie is really good and is an interesting view of a man transitioning. 

It ends up being a celebration of "maleness," both physical and emotional, not only in Lukas exhilarating in the changes his body is going through, but also in every scene between Lukas and Fabio acting super cocky with each other in the way that young men sometimes do when they're burning with so much excess energy they have no idea what to do with themselves. 

The movie practically sweats testosterone. 

Part of that maleness and change though is that Lukas is at times self absorbed to the point of being a jerk to his friends and family (so it kind of just desserts that he falls for the only character even more self absorbed than he is).

Women: 

Several

People of color:

Some

Gratuitous Nudity:

Some bare butts and bare breasts

• Director: Sabine Bernardi
• Writer: Sabine Bernardi
• Actors: Rick Okon, Maximilian Befort
• 94 min
• German
• IMDB