Friday, September 16, 2016

If Dad Only Knew (Original title: Outing Riley) (U.S. 2004)




The Gist:
Bobby, an Irish Catholic "straight acting" closeted gay dude who lies about being straight to the point he even has a "beard" (a fake girlfriend), decides to come out to his brothers after their father dies. They don't believe him.

Comments: 
This movie is proof that gay sensibility exists, because it totally lacks one. A roundabout way of saying that the creators are straight and it shows. Not because Bobby is a "straight acting" bro who is so straight acting that he likes looking at naked women. Rather it's because of what works vs what doesn't work in the movie. Bobby and his brothers being privileged over aged frat boys is more than believable. What doesn't work is pretty much anything about "the gay." Except for one thing that is. The eldest brother, a catholic priest having issues with Bobby being gay, does make sense. 

There is no rule that a straight person cannot make a "gay movie," but if you are going to make something outside of your first hand experience and knowledge, it would help if you learned about the subject and didn't approach it half heartedly. In this case one aspect of half heartedly means topless women treated as sex objects, presumably there to compensate for this being a gay flick. Thing is, with that word "gay" you'd expect men to also be sex objects, at least when gay Bobby is involved. They're not. The only time men's bodies are acknowledged, it's for comedy. 

Given the large focus on Bobby's family coming to terms with his being gay, this is arguably not a gay story for actual gays, but rather a 'regular' movie with a gay storyline for 'straight' audiences. But even if this is the case, they've gone overboard in making it 'palatable' so we are now actually catering to bro dudes. 

Another problem is Bobby's habit of breaking the fourth wall and talking to the camera. It fails not only because it's not interesting, but also because of the way it's done, framed as "I wish my life were a movie" so his monologues could be him acknowledging this is just a movie, or it could just be that he has an overactive imagination. Like the gay aspects of the movie, it feels like they didn't fully commit to the idea. 

Ignoring the how's of what is being told, what is being told is a simple coming out story where the protagonist's family has issues with acceptance. The 'wrinkle' being that his family doesn't believe him at first because he's "normal." The problem here is that having a 'regular dude' gay lead is not as unusual as the the people involved making the movie seem to think it is. 

The acting and production are acceptable resulting in a movie that is 'whatever.'

In the end I guess my primary issue is that despite supposedly being a gay coming out story, it's actually a straight teen sex comedy. Only with thirty and forty something year-old adults who act like teenagers, no sex, a lead who is gay, but not too gay, and with lady boobs tossed in to make up for that miniscule amount of gay. Not really a combination of words I'm interested in. 

Women: 
The protagonist's plot-moving-forward sister and his fake girlfriend.

People of color:
"In story" everyone in Chicago is white.  During a breaking the fourth wall sequence however, one of the crew members is African American. 

Gratuitous nudity: 
Yes. Topless women and a couple of male butts, though as mentioned in the comments, in this movie women are meant to be ogled, while men's bodies are things to laugh at.


  • Director: Pete Jones
  • Writer: Pete Jones
  • Actors: Pete Jones, Nathan Fillion, Stoney Westmoreland, Julie Pearl
  • 99 min
  • Note: I found no explanation for the title change from 'Outing' to 'Knowing.' Admittedly I did not spend much time looking for an answer. Presumably the newer title, being more 'heartfelt' would attract more viewers, as well as being less obviously "gay"
  • IMDB

Sunday, September 4, 2016

All The Others Were Practice (U.S. 2015)





The Gist:
Jorge, pronounced George, coasts through life, work, and romance; living, working, and dating.

Comments with a big spoiler that isn't much of a spoiler:
We have a movie where not everyone is white, nor gay, nor male, with a non-traditional gay lead, i.e., he's neither white nor thin. More so, when focusing on his love life, his dating problems are the standard "dating is hard" issues that you'd expect from any romcom, not the "no one will date me because I'm fat!" storyline usually used when the protagonist isn't a skinny twink. 

All a good start. Unfortunately it is immediately is hobbled by the difficulty making an interesting story about aimless people living somewhat boring lives. Jorge is described as a commitment-phobe, except he doesn't seem actively afraid of relationships, just passively "meh." The same attitude he has about everything in his life, which does not make him the most engaging of characters.  

On top of that there is a similar problem in that the secondary characters are pretty much all aggravatingly boring.

There's also an issue with the conclusion of the story, in that there isn't one. Not really anyway. This counts as spoiler, but given the setup of a dude having a string of dates and hook ups that don't lead anywhere, and also considering the movie's title, you'd expect the movie to end with him learning a lesson and being ready to build a life with his new (final) boyfriend. 

This doesn't happen. Not really anyway. The pieces are there and put into place, but there's no real reason to believe Jorge's learned anything at all, or that final dude will not just be yet another man who will come and go from his life with no impact or lasting effect. 

This list of negatives makes it sound like I hated the movie. I didn't. I actually liked it. It's not terrible, it's just... not very interesting. 

Women: 
Yes

People of color: 
Yes

Gratuitous nudity: 
No


  • Director: Brian Tolle
  • Writer: Brian Tolle, John Hancuff
  • Actors: Charlie Ballard, Kimberly MacLean, Bennie Bell
  • 88 min
  • IMDB