Monday, April 21, 2014

Saltwater (U.S. 2012)




The Gist:
Will has left the Navy for civilian life and has temporarily moved in with his friend Rich until he gets settled. Rich immediately sets out to get Will a boyfriend, choosing a extremely tall Australian named Josh (who is played by a famous former rugby player). They have an immediate connection, but after a bad first date, will they ever get the timing right to be more than just almost friends?

Comments with major spoilers, obvious and not:
First off, the movie is terrible. It's more than just bad acting, bad music, or what distractingly appears to be a single house doubling as almost every location, from restaurant to lawyers office. The major problem is perhaps the basic premise of the story, that these two men belong together. 

Their first date ends abruptly when the two fight about DADT (Don't Ask Don't Tell), the then contemporary, now old policy of letting queer members of the military serve if they lied about not being straight.  An argument that is never resolved. This is followed by scene after scene of misunderstandings, mistiming, and hurt feelings, all working to show that they can barely manage to even be acquaintances let alone friends or even boyfriends.

It takes a totally out of left field death and it's resulting drama to finally push the story towards the expected sappy ending conclusion. Although even in that happy ending there is a huge amount of hand waving away of problems, by just telling the audience in monologue that Will "chose to be happy," which apparently means that none of the multiple issues keeping them apart mattered enough to show them dealing with them on screen.

Women: 
A few, though only one really really counts as an actual character

People of color:
One minor role

Gratuitous nudity
No


  • Director: Charlie Vaughn
  • Writer: Ronnie Kerr
  • Actors: Ronnie Kerr, Ian Roberts, Bruce L. Hart
  • 81 min
  • IMDB


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