Boystown (Chuecatown)(Spain 2007)

The Gist:
In a rapidly gentrifying neighborhood of Madrid, a real estate agent deals with the lack of available properties, and an overabundance of elderly people, by killing old women thus freeing up their apartments for him to sell to trendy yuppie gay couples. As old ladies are dying left and right, a gay couple, the ‘wrong’ type of gay that is (uncouth blue collar bears), attempt to deal with problems in their relationship as the overbearing terrible mother of one the men attempts to break them up.

Also two police detectives, one of whom happens to be the overbearing terrible mother of the other, are on the case to solve the murders.

Comments:
The movie is a murderous farce where gentrification is literal murder. There are also subplots involving a bear couple consisting of two goofy men, the terrible mother of one of the men, and the two cops who are also a terrible mother and her son. A bizarre mix and tumble of adjectives that should have resulted in me loving the movie. Instead I merely think it’s okay.

A minority opinion, since from what I found online, most people love it, but for whatever reason it didn’t really grab my interest. Rosa Maria Sardà of All About My Mother does a great job as the crazy mother half of the police detectives, and I did perk up when I saw Spanish performer La Prohibida briefly singing in the background of a scene set in a gay bar.  But for the most part I was mildly disinterested. Even the final chase scene, which takes place in a bathhouse filled with assorted near naked Spaniards didn’t really perk my interest.

My meh attitude towards the movie aside, the movie is arguably good. It’s funny, well-acted, and does a good job of being wacky crazy. I just didn't care.

Women:
Yes

People of color:
No

Gratuitous nudity:
Some quick butt shots

• Director: Juan Flahn
• Writer: Felix Sabroso, Rafa
• Actors: Pepon Nieto, Carlos Fuentes, Pabo Puyol, Rosa Maria Sardà 
• 101 min
• Spanish
• IMDB

2 Minutes Later (US 2007)

The Gist:

After insurance investigator Michael Dalmar's twin brother, a famous photographer, goes missing, he partners with private detective Abigail Marks, pretending to be his own arrogant brother in order to find out what has happened to him. 

Comments with minor spoilers:

We have a movie playing around with mystery movie cliches and expectations by giving us a womanizing lesbian detective and a relatively passive gay man as her partner. Although reversing gender expectations is about as far as it messes around with the mystery formula. All the other expected cliches are still there. Monologue voice over narration. Private eye who used to be a cop. Guns with unlimited bullets. Good twin, evil twin. People making stupid decisions. People acting oddly in odd ways to ensure clues are had (such as carrying around a stamped, self addressed envelop in order to mail yourself the MacGuffin). A detective in very thin stiletto heels that make you cringe in sympathetic pain as she runs towards a shoot out.

Okay. Maybe not that last one, especially since a real lesbian, "lipstick" or not, would have taken those shoes off before running into danger. Regardless, for the most part this is a standard mystery movie, although not a fair play one, and one painted over broadly in "gay," so throw gay flick cliches into the mix as well. Most notably lots and lots of male nudity. Seriously, a lot. The missing brother's job as famous *sshole photographer allows for far more floppy penises than usual in a gay flick. 

Cliches and penises aside, the movie is neither particularly good nor bad. but rather just ok. The acting is adequate and the story is told more or less competently. The movie was obviously designed for sequels, although as far as I can tell there have been no further adventures of our queer detective team. 

Women:

Yes

People of color:

Yes

Gratuitous nudity:

Yes. Lots

• Director: Robert Gaston
• Writer: Robert Gaston 
• Actors: Michael Molina, Jessica Graham 
• 78 min
• IMDB

Half a Person (Canada 2007)

The Gist: 

Two young men, best friends since high school, one gay and outgoing, the other straight and somewhat introverted, take a trip to Toronto that will change their lives. 

Comments with one probably obvious spoiler:

A take on the classic road trip movie story where two people take a life changing trip together. In this case a straight introvert (i.e., frustrated with his dead end life) and his outgoing gay best friend (i.e., self absorbed ass). 

Classic set up or not, it seems many folks don't like the movie. Some because they didn't like the acting (I thought the acting was adequate), others because there was no "story" (which I also disagree with, there is a story, just not a very "loud" one). 

It also gets some hate because despite being included in lists of gay movies, it is not. While I'm not sure that alone makes it worthy of hate, it is true that the focus of the story is on the sad straight guy rather than the gay best friend, and as is, gay best friend's being a self-absorbed ass is far more important than his sexual orientation. 

Which is not to say that there is no "gay" happening in the movie. Gay guy has a boyfriend, although he spends most of the movie ignoring him, and depending how you interpret a scene, there may or may not be an implication that the two leads friendship once became physical in high school. But for the most part, the "gay" in the movie is just minor detail in a story of a young man realizing that he has to move on with his life and leave behind his childhood, including his best friend. 

As is clear from my comments, I didn't hate the movie, although while I thought it was fairly well done for what it is, I would only recommend it if you have an extremely high tolerance for 20-something straight white male angst, because that is essentially 99% of the movie. 

Women: 

Two

People of color:

No 

Gratuitous nudity:

No

• Director: Adam Santangelo
• Writer: Adam Santangelo
• Actors: Nigel Smith, Micheal Majeski
• 70 min
• IMDB

Theft (AKA: Theft of the Drag Queen’s Wig) (U.S. 2007)

The Gist:

In a small Texan town, an up and coming Christian preacher decides that the quickest route from small town preacher to big time TV evangelist is for her to go after the local gay leather bar by framing it's new owner for arson. While this is happening, a stranger comes to town and secrets will be revealed. 

Comments:

There's something about this movie that makes it seem mean to just write that it is bad, there's an earnestness about it, but bad is the best adjective for it. Acting is meh to okay, and how a small Texan town manages to have enough local leather enthusiast gay men to not only support a gay bar, but one that "specializes" as a leather bar is never explained.

The focus is split between three main things: the overacting antics of the preacher, unfunny drag comedy skits at the leather bar, and the bar owner and stranger falling in "like" with each other. Of the three story lines, only the "romance" manages to be sort okay, but sort of okay doesn't compensate for the rest of the movie being boring and poorly acted. 

Women:

Preacher and church goers 

People of color:

At least one of the background leather guys though I don't think he had any lines, so technically no

Gratuitous nudity: 

Partial? Maybe? I saw it yesterday and it's already proving to be unmemorable

• Director: Paul Bright
• Writer: Paul Bright
• Actors: Mathew Burnett, Cynthia Schiebel, Patrick Henderson
• 90 min
• Note: While Theft of the Drag Queen's Wig appears to be the original working title and Theft the final title, both titles are in use at different websites as it's actual title.
• IMDB

The Books of John (US 2007)

The Gist:

John (of the title) dies while writing in his diary (the books of the title) setting up a situation where his surviving partner Frank goes off in search of John's hidden past and in doing so finds a way to move on with his life and perhaps a new love. Also, Frank's young gay male friends worry that he's spending too much time morning and not enough time partying, and so are punished for being jerks. 

Comments (with Spoilers):

In a word, the movie was bad. 

The acting varied from okay to poor, and the quality of production (sound, filming, editing,...) varied as well, but even if you can ignore issues common to low budget movies, the bizarreness of the story can't be easily glossed over. 

The main story of the movie involves Frank reading his dead lover John's diaries and going to Alabama to find out about Dead John's childhood (While alive John was tight lipped about his past). 

Once in Dead John's podunk hometown, Frank immediately meets / has sex / starts a relationship with New Guy. During this courtship, everyone says things like how Dead John must be watching over Frank, and has brought him and New Guy together (via his dairies). Except that it turns out there is an obvious connection between Dead John and New Guy, so saying that Dead John is responsible for getting them together is a little creepy. 

There's also a subplot involving two of Frank's younger gay friends, a couple who are written as shallow and dumb, and for the crime of being shallow and dumb (thinking that morning for your dead lover should not interfere with partying) they get punished with HIV, setting off melodrama. Unfortunately involving some of the weaker actors, so poorly acted melodrama. 

Given all the technical issues and odd story, in the end, it's not worth watching. 

Women:

Several, mainly Frank's lesbian friends, who except for Frank's best friend, don't get to do very much. 

People of Color: 

Several, mainly Frank's lesbian friends, and one half of the shallow young(ish) gay couple. 

Gratuitous nudity:

Some skin and a quick flash of bare butt. Compared to the standard stereotype of gay flicks, this movie is almost modest.

• Directors: David A. Schweiger, L.W. Smith
• Writers: David A. Schweiger, L.W. Smith
• Actors: Forrest Bankston, Jeff Batton
• 89 min
• IMDB

SoulMaid (U.S. 2007)

The Gist:

Moses has epilepsy which give him visions; that lead him first to true love in the form of Steve, the (formerly straight) literal man of his dreams; then later to Glintentica, who may be a figment of his imagination, or who may an evil spirit who wants to take over his body in an effort to wipe out the local gay population by turning them all from prissy effeminate queens to boring straight men. 

When it turns out to be the later, the (formerly straight) boyfriend and an annoying female roommate hope to rid Moses of Glintentica by performing the most bizarre exorcism ever, despite Glintentica's threats to turn Steve (the formerly straight boyfriend) straight again if they succeed. 

Will true love prevail? Does anyone care? 

Comments:

The people involved in this were apparently trying to make a wacky romantic comedy with commentary about ex-gay therapy. It's possible that the idea could have worked,  but unfortunately, they didn't go far enough, which considering the plot description may seem an odd critique. 

The problem is that while they ended up with a crazy movie, it's not crazy enough to to overcome a huge number of issues such as poor script, wonky characterization and bad acting. In the end, the final product trips over itself, and falls somewhere between boring and just plain bad. 

The best thing about it is that the lead isn't too bad an actor. There is also the fact that even if it failed, the people involved at least tried to be interesting, if weird. Still, all in all, not worth watching. 

Women: 

One and a half. The most annoying female roommate ever, and the "evil goddess" Glintentica, who despite being played by a woman, is (if I'm reading the credits correctly) voiced by a man.

People of color:

No

Gratuitous nudity:

No, though the character of Moses who between his job as a sort of, but not really nude-maid and being written as being clothes phobic, spends a lot of screen time in his undies doing yoga poses. 

• Directors: Jeffrey Maccubbin, Jeffrey Thomas McHale, Dan Mohr, Josef Steiff
• Writer: Josef Steiff
• Actors: Tom Bailey, Becca Connolly, Joe Schenck
• 95 min
• IMDB

Shelter (U.S. 2007)

The Gist:

Zach, a young man from a working class background living in San Pedro California, has put his dreams of art school on hold to help his sister raise her son. What little free time he has is spent dealing with his off-and-on again girlfriend and hanging out with his best friend Gabe, who lives in a rich part of town. When Gabe's older brother Shaun returns home for a visit, he and Zach start hanging out, surfing, becoming close, and setting up a situation where Zach must not only face truths about himself, but also decide between his apparent inescapable family obligations and what he really wants for himself in life.

Not too Spoiler-ish Comments:

Poking around online it looks like this is a very well liked movie, and deservedly so. It's well executed, the acting is good, and the connection between the two leads is palpable. They do a great job of portraying falling in love. 

Additionally, the surfing shots are beautiful, and the movie doesn't avoid the fact the guys would face some issues, not only with Zach dealing with being newly out and the pressures he faces with his family obligations, but of class as well. That is, that growing up in a beachside mansion vs. living in "the ghetto" as they jokingly refer to San Pedro, would lead the two men two have different outlooks on life.

All in all it's a good movie.

Which is not to say perfect, though in truth perhaps the issues I have reflect more on me than the movie. I kept having suspension of disbelief problems, a race/reality thing. As presented in the movie, San Pedro is a nearly deserted, rundown, white working class city relatively close to the monied white enclave of whatever South O.C. / North San Diego beach town it is Gabe and Shaun parent's mansion is located at. Thing is, in reality San Pedro is not only nowhere near the monied parts of Orange County/San Diego, is also actually a relatively average neighborhood of the city of Los Angeles with a large Latino population. 

So yeah, not exactly real life. Regardless, the movie is good, and an example that a "Gay movie" doesn't have to mean mediocre or bad. 

Women: 

Two. Cranky sister, and an on & off again girlfriend.

People of color:

Nope.

Gratuitous nudity:

Not really. 

• Director: Jonah Markowitz
• Writer: Jonah Markowitz
• Actors: Trevor Wright, Brad Rowe
• 97 minutes
• IMDB

An Angel Named Billy (U.S. 2007)

The Gist:

After his drunk homophobic father kicks him out of the house, gay teen Billy goes to the big city, where he finds both a job as a live-in caretaker for an older man who has had a debilitating stroke, and the possibility of love with his boss, the older man's 30-something year old son James.

Comments (with spoilers because just saying the movie is bad doesn't quite cover it):
So yes, the movie is bad, bogged down with bad acting, and featuring an icky love story where a man falls for the runaway teenager he hired to take care of his sick elderly father

Looking at actual reviews, I'm not the only one to think a man stalking romancing his 18(?) year old, penny-less, essentially homeless, barely out of the closet, emotional wreck, unskilled, totally dependent on this job, employe as being creepy.

Even if you don't have an issue with the James/Billy romance, there's also the issues that large parts of the story make no sense and people are just strange. Billy's mother for example. She keeps trays of milk and cookies just sitting around her hotel room, she is thrilled that her son is involved with a much older man, and admits to having always known that Billy was gay, and knowing this, bizarrely left him with her homophobic, bible-thumping, angry drunk, ex-husband when she took off after their divorce.

Bad acting, bad romance and wacky story details aside, it's also, at two hours, far too long and in need of heavy editing.

Not recommended unless you're into bad gay flicks, and/or wanted to make a drinking game of it, such as taking a shot every time someone recognizes Billy's inherent goodness and refers to him as an angel, every time James does something stalker-ish to Billy such as staring at him while he sleeps, or (if you want to get stinking drunk) every time someone cries.

One final note, given the movie is about the James and Billy, It's amusing to me that the couple on the poster/dvd cover art is not actually James and Billy, rather it's Billy and another teenager, the need for "cute" boys on the art outweighing the need for meaningful representation of the story.

Women:

Billy's mom and her sassy African-American coworkers.

People of color:

The above mentioned sassy African-American coworkers.

Gratuitous nudity:

Nope. While fulfilling many a stereotype of bad gay flicks, gratuitous nudity isn't one of them.

• Director: Greg Osborne
• Writers: Kevin M. Glover, Eliezer J. Gregorio, Max Mitchel, Greg Osborne
• Actors: Dustin Belt, Richard Lewis Warren, Hank Fields
• 120 min
• IMDB