Angora Ranch (U.S. 2006)

The Gist:

Justin, a young guy who does not get along with his father ends up having to stay over night at the home of Jack, a man old enough to be his father (who in turn also has father issues he is dealing with). They fall into instant love despite the half hearted protests of the older man. Drama ensues. 

Comments:

Unfortunately the movie has problems. A common outcome in many low budget movies where the writer, director, and lead actor are all the same person. In this case Paul Bright, although unlike Altitude Falling, his other May / December gay romance movie between an older man (him) and a guy young enough to be his son, the pairing in this movie is not creepy, just dull. Which is the main issue here, the story is just not interesting. 

Younger gay Justin has issues with his overbearing father and things happen. Older gay Jack has issues with his father who is in the first stages of dementia and things happen. Things get soap opera level silly at the end of the movie, but for the majority of time it's just a rather sedate story with occasional flashes of butts as the leads get in and out bed.

Beyond dullness there are also issues with poor acting, stilted dialogue, horrendous singing, and strange story decisions, such as having everyone in a small, podunk, deep in the heart of Texas town be not only super gay friendly, but also aggressively eager to hook up a young kid with their middle aged friend. The other oddity is in casting with Jack and his father looking more like brothers than parent and son, Apparently the actor playing Jack's father was his real life partner (who died after the movie was made).

Technical issues aside, the basic idea is not necessarily bad: a flawed man meets a younger guy and they make a go of it. It's just that the movie makes the story uninteresting. 

Women:

A couple 

People of color:

No 

Gratuitous nudity:

Occasional bare butts

• Director: Paul Bright
• Writer: Paul Bright
• Actors: Paul Bright, Thomas Romano, Tim Jones
• 96 min
• IMDB

Altitude Falling (U.S. 2010)

The Gist:

Against a backdrop of a near future dystopian America that implants its citizens with ID tracking chips, an older man meets a younger guy (with connections to his past) and they fall in love. 

Comments:

The idea of the loss of secrecy due to technology is topic in need of discussion, but in this movie it ends up being boring. Part of the problem is that for a movie being sold as a suspenseful science fiction flick there is very little suspense or action. It also gets bogged down in some of the stereotypes of low budget movies such as bad acting. The young gay guy is very painful to watch at times. 

There's also the fact that more focus is given to the romantic pairing between older guy and young gay then the world they live in. Although this focus may not be surprising given that cross generational romance seems to be a common theme in writer/director/lead actor Paul Bright's movies. 

Even if you have no issues with someone dating a barely legal person more than young enough to be his son, this particular relationship is still questionable because as the story explains older guy is romancing the estranged son of his best friend (whom he also lusted for back in college).  Instead of a testament that when it comes to love, age doesn't matter, the details make the relationship seem creepy. 

Romance aside the oppressive government plot is also strange. Apparently in a decade or so the United States becomes a capitalist / communist / fascist dictatorship, where a female president passes laws directly, forcing people to ride bikes and grow their own food in federally run community gardens. Dialogue makes it seem that all these contradictory adjectives are an un-ironic comment on the Obama presidency (because using hope as a campaign slogan was bad?). 

In short, this is a whole lot of words to say that the movie is "meh."

Women:

The young gay's mother and grandmother

People of color:

If there were any, I blinked and missed them

Gratuitous nudity:

Maybe? I saw none, but an actual real review of the movie mentioned nudity. I saw it online so I guess that version was edited.

• Director: Paul Bright
• Writer: Paul Bright
• Actors: Paul Bright, William Diamond
• 93 min
• Note: The title is mentioned in dialogue as being a bit of Orwellian government double speak. In this global warming disaster affected near future it's not the oceans that are rising, but rather mountains (altitudes) that are lowering. 
• IMDB

Theft (AKA: Theft of the Drag Queen’s Wig) (U.S. 2007)

The Gist:

In a small Texan town, an up and coming Christian preacher decides that the quickest route from small town preacher to big time TV evangelist is for her to go after the local gay leather bar by framing it's new owner for arson. While this is happening, a stranger comes to town and secrets will be revealed. 

Comments:

There's something about this movie that makes it seem mean to just write that it is bad, there's an earnestness about it, but bad is the best adjective for it. Acting is meh to okay, and how a small Texan town manages to have enough local leather enthusiast gay men to not only support a gay bar, but one that "specializes" as a leather bar is never explained.

The focus is split between three main things: the overacting antics of the preacher, unfunny drag comedy skits at the leather bar, and the bar owner and stranger falling in "like" with each other. Of the three story lines, only the "romance" manages to be sort okay, but sort of okay doesn't compensate for the rest of the movie being boring and poorly acted. 

Women:

Preacher and church goers 

People of color:

At least one of the background leather guys though I don't think he had any lines, so technically no

Gratuitous nudity: 

Partial? Maybe? I saw it yesterday and it's already proving to be unmemorable

• Director: Paul Bright
• Writer: Paul Bright
• Actors: Mathew Burnett, Cynthia Schiebel, Patrick Henderson
• 90 min
• Note: While Theft of the Drag Queen's Wig appears to be the original working title and Theft the final title, both titles are in use at different websites as it's actual title.
• IMDB

Aaron... Albeit a Sex Hero (US 2009)

The Gist:

It isn't bad enough that Aaron is stuck in a dead end job leading groups of retired women on movie themed tours around Austin. On his latest tour he has to deal with a hunky but annoying van driver, drug dealers, scorpions, henchmen, cops, tarantulas, rattlesnakes, and pretty much most of Texas, all trying to put him out of his misery. Aaron decides he’d rather not die and starts fighting back.

Comments with Spoiler:

If the sound were stable enough to consistently hear dialogue over background music. If the night scenes were shot in such a way that I could see what was happening. If the action “shoot out” scenes were done more believably. If all these were true, would I actually like the movie?  Maybe?

I tell myself that as long as there is a good story I can look past technical faults associated with low budget indie movies. Unfortunately, with this movie on top of the technical issues, there’s questionable acting, a weak plot that works only by having characters making one stupid decision after another, and most importantly, that I’m not necessarily predisposed to liking action movies, even one where the "good guys" spend just as much time trying to get into each other’s pants as they do shooting at bad guys.

That last bit counts as a spoiler by the way. While dealing with what feels like most of Texas out to get him, Aaron ends up arguing/flirting with a hot Latino van driver, making this a movie where the male leads f*ck the idea of platonic bromance action flick to death. Unfortunately for them, they are saddled with a recurring joke that every time our boys start to get it on, a shoot out soon follows.

If watching attractive men occasionally making out in badly light night scenes is enough incentive to put up with many assorted technical, plot, and acting “issues,” then the movie is worth a try... Maybe.

Women:

An annoying wife, a grandmother and a tour group of older women. All minor characters, who seem to exist solely for comedy relief. Athough frankly they are not that funny. 

People of color:

Some tour group women, some henchmen, and the Latino van driver.

Gratuitous Nudity:

“Sexy” shower scenes and a quick flash of full frontal when we learn that our Latino van driver goes “commando”… because character underwear status is important in action flicks?

• Director: Paul Bright
• Writer: Paul Bright
• Actors: Matthew Burnett, Rafiel Soto
• 82 min
• IMDB