Men to Kiss (Männer zum Knutschen) (Germany 2012)

The Gist:

Ernst and Tobi are the classic opposites attract couple. Ernst being a bit of a square while Tobi is a wild free spirit. All is well (more or less) In their lives, until Ernst's best friend Uta moves back to Germany, and she and Tobi immediately hate each other. Crazy plots, wacky hijinks, and (comedic?) threats of death to defeat their "enemy" and "win" Ernst for themselves ensue.  

Comments: 

This movie is a sequel of sorts to another one I've discussed here, Alex and Leo. "Of sorts" because the leads of the other romantic comedy, the somewhat boring and not entirely believable as a couple, Alex and Leo, have broken up and are only very minor characters here, having been replaced as the focus of story by their best friend Tobi and his new boyfriend Ernst. The two new men are also not entirely believable as a couple, though at least they have the benefit of not being boring. 

In the previous movie, Tobi was an campy queen whose major character trait was that he was  flamboyant and mean. This time around however his personality has been slimmed down, losing being an asshole in favor of merely being outrageous. 

Other differences between this movie and previous one is that this story is more interesting and marginally better. Which is not really praise since that means that instead of bad, it's only okay. It starts off well enough, amusing and engaging, but the frankly weak story very quickly runs out of steam. The insane antics as Tobi and Uta work to get rid of their opponent should be funny and keep the story engaging, but instead it started feeling like work to sit through it instead of entertainment. 

Women: 

Yes

People of color: 

One 

Gratuitous nudity: 

Some

• Director: Robert Hasfogel
• Writers: Juergen Hirsch, Andre Scheider
• Actors: Frank Christian Marx, Udo Lutz, Alexandra Starnitzki 
• 83 min 
• Note: Dialogue is in German with occasional lines in English
• IMDB 

Two Weddings and a Funeral (Du Beon-ui Gyeol-hon-sik-gwa Han Beon-ui Jang-nye-sik) (Korea 2012)

The Gist: 

A gay man (Min-soo) and a lesbian (Hyo-jin) have married each other to fulfill family, societal and legal obligations. They just have to play at being a couple for one year, then they can divorce and go on with their lives with everything they wanted. Unfortunately this act becomes harder and harder to pull off as life threatens to intervene and reveal their secrets. 

Comments: 

The movie is fairly well done, though the story gets rather melodramatic at times as society is shown to literally beat down people for the crime of being gay. Aside from this external homophobic melodrama affecting the characters, there's also self produced angst as the characters overreact and overact their soap opera lives.  

So yeah, lots and lots of drama. Part of that is also do to essentially all of Min-soo's gay male friends being big queens. I've normally no issues with effeminate men in gay movies, except when it is used as a joke, and to an extent that is what is happening here. The exception being the character "Tina," who is played as bit of an effeminate clown. Unlike the rest of the secondary characters though, he is given enough of a background and motivation that he comes off as a well rounded interesting character who could almost be a real person (far more so than he somewhat boring dull lead). 

Story and representation aside, there is also an issue with translations. Not a major problem, it's just that the subtitles in the version I saw were occasionally a little wonky with odd grammar or unusual word choices that made things a little confusing, such as when a character explains that he left Korea in order to move to Korea. 

Overall the movie is okay for what it is, but what it is, is a bit too melodramatic for my personal tastes. 

Women:

Yes

People of color: 

Everyone. Unless we reverse the question to "Is anyone not Korean?" then the answer is no. 

Gratuitous nudity:

No

• Director: Jho Gwang-soo Kim
• Writer: Yoon-sin Kim, Hae-yeong Park
• Actors: Dong Yoon Kim, Hyeon-kyeong Ryu
• Korean
• 106 min
• IMDB

Love Or Whatever (U.S. 2012)

The Gist:

When a man rapidly approaching his thirtieth birthday proposes to his boyfriend, he quickly finds himself single and his life a confusing disaster. When he meets a new man will he mess things up, or learn to accept a chance at "love or whatever?" 

Comments: 

I kind of sort of almost liked the movie, though I'm not sure why since the best thing I can say about it is that while it is not good, at least it's not terrible. An opinion I suspect wouldn’t hold up if the movie were examined too closely. 

The protagonist acts like an idiot (not too uncommon a trait for leads in romcoms), he treats people poorly, and is extremely unbelievable as a psychologist. The jokes are not particularly funny (the worst bit being an ongoing, repeating joke about a woman who had been mauled / molested by a wild animal). The lone bisexual man's sexual orientation is played as an outdated offensive bi-phobic joke. The joke being that he likes both men and women because he is indecisive, immature, and can never make up his mind. 

Reversing the train of thought and looking for good things, the actor playing the womanizing lesbian sister does a good job, and she puts some much needed energy into the movie. Although thinking about it, insatiable womanizing lesbian minor character is rapidly becoming a tired cliche in gay flicks. 

Yeah, I'm quickly changing my opinion about likening it. I'm not however changing my opinion that that movie while not good, is at least not terrible. 

Women:

Yes

People of Color:

Yes? Maybe? No? The only real rule I have for this category is that someone of color has a speaking role. Even just one line would qualify for a marginally yes answer. The only nonwhite people who appear in the movie are some of the sister's "show up for one scene only" sexual conquests. Despite having seen the movie only a couple days ago, I’ve already forgotten if any of them had actual lines. 

Gratuitous nudity:

Minor, a couple of not strictly necessary butt shots 

• Director: Rosser Goodman
• Writer: Dennis Bush, Cait Brennan
• Actors: Tyler Poelle, Jennifer Elise Cox, Joel Rush
• 84 min
• IMDB

Speechless (Wu yan)(Hong Kong / China 2012)

The Gist:

A mute, naked, western man is found along the side of a river in a town in mainland China. After being taken in by the police, he is sent to the local hospital where he and Xiao Jiang, a nurse, develop a bond with each other. When it is eventually decided to send the mysterious man to a mental asylum, Xiao Jiang decides to take a risk and flee the town with the mystery man in tow. 

Comments (with some spoilers):

The movie is rather good. The story is interesting, it is gorgeous to look at, is mostly well done, and well-acted. Not to say there are no issues with the movie. There are, mainly with pacing. 

Towards the end of the movie there is an extended flashback explaining what happened to traumatize the stranger into muteness, so spoiler, the mystery is solved. The problem with this is that the flashback is long enough that it changes the flow of the movie, and the transition from flashback back to the current story ends up feeling somewhat awkward. The final fate of the characters is also somewhat confusing, to me at least. They are just in a new situation with no explanation given as to what happened between the climax of the story and the end of the story to put them there.

Once the stranger’s backstory is shown it also made it hard to keep up the suspension of disbelief thing going. Essentially, the fact that the police can’t figure out who he is makes them seem incompetent. 

It is sounding like I didn't like the movie, which is incorrect. These issues don't negate that the movie is good and the story intriguing. It's definitely worth trying. Assuming you don’t mind subtitles (or speak Mandarin that is).

Content wise aside, the story behind the making of the movie is interesting as well. It seems that because permission to film it would be denied by the government, it was filmed in secret in mainland China. 

Women:

Yes

People of color:

Yes

Gratuitous nudity:

There is some nudity in the movie, but I would argue that it is not gratuitous as it is used to help tell the story. At the beginning highlighting the mute man's sense of innocence, and during later scenes to well, esplaining that would be a spoiler.

• Director: Simon Chung
• Writer: Simon Chung, Lu Yulai
• Actors: Pierre-Matthieu Vital, Qilun Gao, Yung Yung Yu, Jian Jiang
• 92 min
• Mandarin and English (at least that's how it's listed on IMBD, actually there's barely any English dialogue)
• IMDB

Stud Life (UK 2012)

The Gist:

When 'Stud' lesbian JJ falls for femme fatal Elle, her life is thrown out of whack. As this goes on her best friend Seb makes poor choices of his own when it comes to men. 

Comments with a minor spoiler:

We are big time lesbian drama here, of the Stud variety. If you're unfamiliar with the term, a stud is essentially a very butch dyke.  More so, JJ is an uber butch, a stone butch. She is so butch that this source of strength for her becomes a weakness in that she ends up being overly rigid in life which is where the drama comes in,  as even though Elle is a femme and theoretically they should fit fine as a couple, it turns out that being with Elle may force JJ to be more flexible in her expectations of life and love. 

Despite being set in modern day London, the movie feels sort of oddly old fashioned. I'm guessing much of this comes from the strict Butch and Femme pairing, as if this were a 1950's period piece when it was survival tactic for a lesbian couple to only be a femme paired with a butch who could pass as a man if needed. 

This "old fashioned" interpretation of the movie is just me however, coming from my own biases, since JJ's world of strict butch / femme determination of roles is foreign to my experiences. The lesbians I know in real life joke about femme and butch rather than follow them as strict guides. Interestingly, to me at least, while I am unfamiliar with that aspect of the movie, another part, one where lesbians and gay men get to be best friends is totally in my realm of experience. One where queer women and men don't spend their lives isolated from each other (vs. how many 'gay' movies portray the world, as a place where queer men barely know any women at all let alone lesbians, let alone be friends with them). 

In the end the movie is okay for what it is, an average quality romantic melodrama.  

Women:

Yes

People of color:

Yes, much of the cast

Gratuitous nudity: 

Yes

• Director: Campbell X
• Writer: Campbell X
• Actors: T'Nia Miller, Kyle Treslove, Robyn Kerr
• 91 min
• IMDB

Scenes from a Gay Marriage (U.S. 2012)

The Gist:

A newly single man, Darren, obsesses over the gay couple who live in the apartment above his, as he tries to sort out his own life.

Comments with minor spoilers: 

This is kind of a low key movie. Which is not a bad thing. Compared to how "aggressive" some movies can be in telling their story, low key can be a good thing. Then again it can be bad if it leads to inaction and dullness. This movie manages to avoid that and keeps the balance of calmness and interesting. The acting is fine, and the story as Darren learns to live his life on his own, is engaging enough.

There is a strange bit though, in that being kept, where one partner in a relationship has all the money and power and "keeps" the other person, is oddly normalized here. A couple of examples are given in the movie and while they are not shown as ideal or particularly healthy, they are not treated as being unusual either. This happens again in another of director/writer/actor Matt Riddlehoover's movies: West Hollywood Motel, where one woman is "keeping" her girlfriend. 

While not the theme of the either movie, it ends up being notable because it contrasts strongly with how not common it is in real life. Well, at least in real life as I've experienced or have knowledge of it. 

Unlike other movies with the words "director, writer, and staring in lead role as actor" this is not a bad movie, and while I would not say that everyone has to immediately go see it, I would say that it is interesting and pretty good. 

Women:

One. It's a fairly limited cast, so not quite as bad it may seem

People of color:

No

Gratuitous nudity:

No

• Director: Matt Riddlehoover
• Writer: Matt Riddlehoover
• Actors: Matt Ridlehoover, Jared Allman, Tashana McQuiston, Carson Nicely
• 83 min
• IMDB

The Men Next Door (U.S. 2012)

The Gist:

Facing his 40th birthday alone because all his friends have bailed on him, things are not looking good for Doug. Until he meets his new hunky 30 year old neighbor and they hit it off. Although in truth things were not really that bad for him, after all he is also dating a hunky 50 year old as well. At least things weren't bad until the 30 year old and 50 year old meet each other and it turns out they are father and son. 

Commentary:

Despite the daddy / son porn set up, and the occasional gratuitous (and frankly distracting) penis shots, this is not a kinky porn video, but rather a romantic comedy. One with issues. The lead's main personality trait seems to be that he's indecisive then again everyone else comes off as shallow, so maybe being wishy washy isn't too bad. There's is also a bit too much reliance on goofy comedy that's not so much with the funny. 

My main problem with the movie is the overindulgence in the indie gay flicks MUST have nudity stereotype. A scene with two friends talking should have the viewer paying attention to dialogue, not to wonder why one of them is standing around wearing only a shirt without pants or underwear showing off his dick for utterly no reason at all. 

There are plenty of ways to include nudity in a movie that makes sense and helps push the story along, but that is not what happens here. Instead the near random use of it gets distracting, and for me at least it leads to wondering about the thought process actors use when deciding whether to play nude roles or not, the casting process, and what their contracts look like. In other words, pulling me out of the story entirely. 

All that aside, it's not exactly a bad movie. The acting is, well, not horrible, and the story is sort of interesting (if overly melodramatic). In the end it, it's just a mostly average, fluffy gay flick.

Women:

One

People of color:

None

Gratuitous nudity:

Yes

• Director: Rob Williams
• Writer: Rob Williams
• Actors: Eric Dean, Michael Nicklin, Benjamin Lutz
• 84 min
• IMDB 

Morgan (U.S. 2012)

The Gist:

A young man, Morgan, returns home after recovering from a bike racing accident that left him a paraplegic. Depressed and with no real direction in life, he meets Dean and the two soon fall in love, starting a relationship that is soon put to the test when Morgan decides to enter the wheelchair category of the race that crippled him. 

Comments:

I did a cursory look at the movie's IMDB page and it seems that many people hate it as being poorly made and unbelievable. 

I'm in the minority it seems, because I liked it. Although even in liking it, I'm fully aware that quality wise it's just okay, and content wise it's totally a sappy "lifetime" TV movie of a person overcoming an obstacle while wallowing in melodrama. Although in this case instead of an angst filled woman, we have an angst filled, not particularly stereotypical gay man. 

If adequately done "overcoming personal challenge" movies are your thing, it may be worth a watch. If not, then the entire movie will annoy. 

Women:

Mother and best friend

People of color: 

One best friend 

Gratuitous nudity:

A quick bare butt shot

• Director: Michael D. Akers
• Writers: Michael D. Akers, Sandon Berg
• Actors: Leo Minaya, Jack Kesy
• 89 min
• IMDB

Saltwater (U.S. 2012)

The Gist:

Will has left the Navy for civilian life and has temporarily moved in with his friend Rich until he gets settled. Rich immediately sets out to get Will a boyfriend, choosing a extremely tall Australian named Josh (who is played by a famous former rugby player). They have an immediate connection, but after a bad first date, will they ever get the timing right to be more than just almost friends?

Comments with major spoilers, obvious and not:

First off, the movie is terrible. It's more than just bad acting, bad music, or what distractingly appears to be a single house doubling as almost every location, from restaurant to lawyers office. The major problem is perhaps the basic premise of the story, that these two men belong together. 

Their first date ends abruptly when the two fight about DADT (Don't Ask Don't Tell), the then contemporary, now old policy of letting queer members of the military serve if they lied about not being straight.  An argument that is never resolved. This is followed by scene after scene of misunderstandings, mistiming, and hurt feelings, all working to show that they can barely manage to even be acquaintances let alone friends or even boyfriends.

It takes a totally out of left field death and it's resulting drama to finally push the story towards the expected sappy ending conclusion. Although even in that happy ending there is a huge amount of hand waving away of problems, by just telling the audience in monologue that Will "chose to be happy," which apparently means that none of the multiple issues keeping them apart mattered enough to show them dealing with them on screen.

Women: 

A few, though only one really really counts as an actual character

People of color:

One minor role

Gratuitous nudity

No

• Director: Charlie Vaughn
• Writer: Ronnie Kerr
• Actors: Ronnie Kerr, Ian Roberts, Bruce L. Hart
• 81 min
• IMDB

The Skinny (U.S. 2012)

The Gist:

Best friends from college, three gay men and a lesbian, get together for New York gay pride weekend. One discovers something about his boyfriend, two can't get laid, one can't ever stop having sex, and the last, a virgin, is desperately in love with his oversexed friend. Drugs, liquor, lies, and drama ensues. 

Comments:

I had a little bit of difficulty connecting to the characters because they are all essentially trust fund kids. They come from monied families where getting a condo or a year long European trip as a graduation present is expected and normal. With two exceptions that is, one of the young men isn't merely exceedingly well off, he's just out and out mega-rich, while another is "living on public assistance" ghetto projects poor. There are no middle class African-Americans in the story. None of the major characters at least. 

The other connection difficulty was of characterization. One of the guys is shown as super innocent to the point of willful dis-knowledge to way the world works, which makes him a bit too unrealistic to be believable, although super innocent is at least a more interesting trait than the main protagonist's defining characteristic, that he's perfect. 

Structure wise, it sort of feels like several episodes of a TV or web series strung together rather than a singular movie. 

Which all sounds like I didn't like it, which isn't true. Production and acting are good and while the story goes a little too melodrama for my personal taste, overall it's a good movie. 

Women:

Two

People of color: 

Yes

Gratuitous nudity:

Yes

• Director: Patrik-Ian Polk
• Writer: Patrik-Ian Polk
• Actors: Jussie Smollett, Anthony Burrell, Blake Young-Fountain, Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman, Jennia Fredrique
• 103 min
• IMDB

The Perfect Wedding (U.S. 2012)

The Gist:

A young woman comes home for the holidays to plan her upcoming wedding. She would rather it be small, but her mother is looking to make it a huge gala of an event. If that weren't enough, there are other issues going on, her father is ill, and her brother is an alcoholic, slowly rebuilding his life after he caused it to fall apart. More so, her close friend who also happens to be her brother's ex-boyfriend is coming to help plan the wedding, and in order not to seem pathetically single, the ex-boyfriend has convinced a former boyfriend to come along to pretend to be his new boyfriend. Unfortunately the alcoholic gay brother and the ex-boyfriend's pretend new boyfriend (who is in fact his former boyfriend) share an instant connection, and if not yet apparent, the gay alcoholic brother and the boyfriend shenanigans is the actual "A" storyline going on here. 

Comments:

There are regular run of the mill "dramedy" movies and then there are "Hallmark cable" style ones, where everything is amped to 11 and it's filled to overflowing with mild-ish melodrama, angst, illness, amusing hijinks, and the triumph of love over all. 

This is the latter, and would fit right in a marathon of TV movies about overcoming obstacles to achieve romance during the holidays. 

If you hate cable-style light dramedy pics, it's obviously not worth watching, although in its favor, it's a very well made example of one, and it is a nice sign of change that being gay just an accepted fact of life and is not the source of any of the angst or illness or drama, other than the angst of romance that is. 

Women: 

Yes

People of color:

The adopted sister

Gratuitous nudity:

Shirtless scenes, but no actual nudity

• Director: Scott Gabriel
• Writers: Ed Gaffney, Suzanne Brockmann, Jason T. Gaffney
• Actors: Paul Fowler, Gavin Greene
• 82 min
• IMDB