Curious (Australia / U.S. 2006)

The Gist: 

After a huge fight with his fiance Beth, Ryan accidently ends up in front of a gay club and enters to satisfy his curiosity, and now must decide if he is perhaps not actually straight. 

At least that's more or less the synopsis of the movie I've found online. A more accurate description would be: Dude goes to a gay bar, does drugs, gay soft-porn sex happens, people are jerks, then he leaves the gay bar. 

Comments with unimportant spoilers:

The reason spoilers are unimportant is because there is no "real" movie here. While advertised as a movie about a man realizing he's gay and what that means for him and his fiancé, it is actually just an essentially plotless, gay, soft-porn flick, consisting of a series of overly long porn scenes featuring men touching each other's chests and arms while moaning and making strained orgasm faces. The closest it comes to a story is through the use of voiceovers at the start of the movie explaining the dude had a fight with his girlfriend, then again at the end once the sex scenes are over explaining that yes he is gay. 

While I don't have an issue with porn, the misleading description of the movie made it a disappointing / annoying view. Beyond the misdirection, the other major problem is that it's bad. The acting is terrible and there's an over dependence on voiceovers to explain what is happening rather than just showing it. Worst of all, it's dull. A problem faced to an extent by all soft-porn movies I guess. An hours worth of men doing nothing but rubbing each others chests and arms and not much else gets boring rather quickly. 

The best thing in the movie is a scene where you get to hear a go-go boy's thoughts as he makes lusty faces at himself in a mirror, rubbing his chest and arms, while thinking about how much he loves being ogled by his customers. You can tell the scene is artistic because it's shot in black and white. It's so over the top serious, it ends up unintentionally hilarious. Unfortunately it, like all the other porn scenes, goes on for too long and so quickly becomes as boring as the rest of the movie. 

So in the end, as a regular movie, there's nothing there. As porn it's dull. Not worth watching. 

Women:

One 

People of color:

Maybe? 

Gratuitous nudity:

Is nudity gratuitous in a porn movie? Surprisingly, or not, while there is a lot of skin, butt shots are about as risqué as it gets

• Director: Jaime Hendrix
• Writer: Jaime Hendrix
• Actors: Tristian Hamilton, Libby Butler, Paul Peredes, Kieth Hamilton
• 74 min
• Color, and Black and White
• Note: The actor playing the lead, Tristian Hamilton, is apparently better known as porn star Rogan Richards
• IMDB

Violet's Visit (Australia 1995)

The Gist:

A 15 year old girl, Violet, aka Scooter, runs away to Sydney in search of her father. Who turns out to be in a relationship with another man and very comfortable in his child free very gay life. Can they all work out how to be a family or will Violet/Scooter have to go back to her unhappy life of putting up with her mother's ever changing parade of boyfriends?

Definitely spoiler filled comments:

The “Gay couple and kid(s) become a family despite themselves” sub-genre of cheap gay flicks is not exactly a highlight of queer cinema. To tell the story you just plod along all or most of the following outline:

GAY COUPLE: We have no kids(s) and are super gay, YAY!

GAY COUPLE: We now have kid(s) because:

                             Adoption (but not the baby we wanted)

                             Friend or relative kicked the bucket

                             One of us had a kid(s) before coming out

GAY COUPLE: Having a kid(s) means we can’t be super gay any more, pout;

KID(S): You guys are fags, pout;

ALL: Let’s have a “we are learning to get along” montage;

GAY COUPLE: Oh no, despite the montage, things are not going well and we will:

                             loose the kid(s) and

                             break up as well, pout;

ALL: Never mind, thanks to another montage, things worked out and we are a family now, YAY!

Toss in some variables such as acting and directing skills mix and stir and for better or worse you’ve got yourself a movie; in the case of Violet’s Visit, for worse.

I rented the movie from Netflix where the reviews range from glowing positive “best movie ever” to complaints of thick Australian accents. I fall into the complaint crowd. Not for the accents, but rather because it was just not very good. 

It starts off as if a sappy after school special about a gay couple and a girl learning to be a family then halfway through, suddenly turns into a sappy gay themed soap opera about a man dealing with both his boyfriend of 8 years and daughter leaving him.

The daughter running away when things get tough makes sense at least as running away from trouble is one of her few established characteristics. What makes no sense is the boyfriend who had been championing the idea of the three of them living together as a family suddenly changing his mind and leaving. I can only guess this it was done to add drama to the story. However, instead of drama, having him flip his position 180 degrees out of the blue just makes everything confusing.

Beside the plot issues there is poor acting and broad stereotypes. To be gay in Australia means being into drugs, gym, poppers, gym, leaving porn magazines strewn across every available surface of your home, and gym.

All in all, not really worth the time. 

Women: 

There is annoying Violet/Scooter, her annoying mother who shows up for one scene, and a crazy homeless gal who hangs out in the background of one scene and has no lines. 

People of color:

I've a tendency to be less potentially annoyed by foreign films if they end up being all white. Then again, Sydney in the 90's would probably have had more nonwhite people than a single lone homeless, crazy, Asian woman. 

Gratuitous nudity:

There's a brief "don't really see anything" shot done for comedic purpose. As far as just showing off skin, the would-be dads spend a lot of time being relatively undressed.

• Director: Richard Turner
• Writer(s): Andrew Creagh, Barry Lowe
• Actors: Graham Harvey, David Franklin, Rebecca Smart
• 84 min
• IMDB