Catalina: A New Kind of Superhero (UK 2009)

The Gist:

During a war, in outer space, a ship crashes on Earth, resulting in a man named Ben gaining superpowers further complicating his confusing life, including hiding the fact he is a transvestite from his girlfriend. 

Also other stuff happens with a cyberpunk side story about a man who is physically connected to a computer; the leader of the space people is on Earth (on vacation? in retirement? on assignment?); Ben's ex-girlfriend sings a song for some reason; and there is also a criminal mastermind with multiple personalities, except maybe the variant personalities are actually separate people she somehow absorbed into her mind? 

Comments:

If not clear from the plot description, a ton of stuff is crammed into the movie. Science fiction space opera, cyberpunk drama, crime comedy, semi-comedic superhero origin story, “real life” trials of transvestism, space spy thriller, and much more all piled and packed on top of each other until there’s nothing left but a muddled mess that doesn’t manage to succeed at being good at any of its parts. The comedy doesn’t work, the cyberpunk story makes no sense, the space opera plot is aggressively convoluted, and on and on and on. 

Besides the issue of a muddled mess of a story, there’s also trouble with terrible acting, bad editing, and cheap looking CGI in a story designed to be filled to overflowing with special effects. I’m willing to forgive a lot with low budget movies, but there are too many problems going on to ignore. The worst problem being that it is boring. 

In a addition to dull it also manages to throw out a line of dialogue insulting to gay men, where the lead’s ex-girlfriend says something to effect of “you may wear dresses but at least you’re not gay, eww.” 

A throwaway bit of homophobia in a movie that ends up on lists of LGBTQ movies due to the transvestite lead. Though as the lead ex-girlfriend states transvestite does not equal “gay.” There are some who’d agree, arguing that transvestism is not a LGBTQ issue. I’m not going to get into that other to say that it does bring up the issue of who the heck this was intended for? Who is the intended audience for a transvestite, super hero, space opera, spy, cyber punk, crime, comedy? A really bad one that is. 

Women: 

Yes 

People of color:

No (It’s possible some of the actors in “alien” makeup may not have been white... maybe) 

Gratuitous nudity:

Yes, a lone pointless butt shot 

• Director: Kenneth D Barker
• Writer: Kenneth D Barker
• Actors: Nathan Lubbock-Smith, Cleone Cassidy
• 98 minutes
• IMDB

Plan B ( Argentina 2009)

The Gist:

Bruno wants his ex girlfriend back. Granted, it is not as if she is totally out of his life, she is still occasionally sleeping with him. An affair her new boyfriend Pablo does not know of, but now that Bruno can't "have" her as an actual girlfriend, the affair is not enough. His first "plan" to get her back, to simply ask her to dump the new boyfriend in favor of Bruno is met with a resounding no. So he switches to "Plan B," where he will come between Laura and Pablo by becoming Pablo's friend and seducing him thus causing Laura and Pablo to break up. An admittedly unusual tactic. More so considering both men are straight, but who exactly is Bruno tricking in this scheme? 

Comments:

This is Marco Berger's first movie. I'm a huge fan of another one of his other films Hawaii, and this has several similarities, shared themes, to that story. A slow measured tale of two men hanging out together over the course of a summer learning about each other and becoming friends, and a call back to childhood and innocence symbolized by memories of playing with view-masters as kids. You know, those plastic toys that let you see slides of photos. Then again, if you're younger than middle aged, maybe you don't. 

It's an interesting story, and despite his plan of seduction making no sense at all, Bruno jumps into it with a certain charming, if underhanded gusto, flirting with Pablo in a more or less easily plausible denial sort of way. The story could have been played for goofy laughs, but is dealt with seriously here, which makes for a more complicated story than the set up implies. It's well done and worth seeing, as long as subtitles and an unhurried character development heavy story don't bother you that is.

Women:

Yes

People of color:

Yes, though not exactly

Gratuitous nudity:

No, though there are several underwear scenes, scenes that as they work to show the growing trust and friendship between the two leads doesn't fit the description of gratuitous 

• Director: Marco Berger 
• Writer: Marco Berger
• Actors: Manuel Vignau, Lucas Ferraro, Mercedes Quinteros 
• Note: Manuel Vignau who plays Bruno here, also stars in Hawaii, where he plays Euginio a gay middle class writer.
• Spanish. Argentine Spanish specifically, so a couple of unusual word choices if you're not familiar with it. 
• IMDB

Fruit fly (U.S. 2009)

The Gist:

Bethesda, a performance artist, moves to San Francisco for a six month stay to work on her next piece, a variant of the work she habitually returns to, her desire to find her biological mother. While in the city she makes a new family of friends, and in getting a new gay best friend, gains the label "fag hag" much to her initial annoyance. Also, being a musical, people sing and perform as the city is filled with the lights and tinny sounds of 6 bit games. 

Comments:

From an interview I read, the story goes that while promoting an earlier film they'd worked on, whenever H.P. Mendoza (Writer/Director) and L.A. Renigen (Bethesda)  'hit' a LGBT festival, men would automatically assume that she was a fag hag. This oddity prompted an idea that turned into Fruit Fly. 

It's not your standard musical. Many scenes were filmed in gorilla style, that is, on public streets and locations on the sly without permits. People sing about public transportation, teenage angst, hooking up, and 'workshop-ing' their lives to tunes intentionally reminiscent of old video games. Instead of grandiose story of large massive events with a definitive dramatic conclusion, this is more of a character piece where life happens.

From what I remember, (professional) reviews tended to be mixed, but personally I really like it. The movie is fun and filled with energy and light, and features people who (in gender, race, age, and sexuality) would normally be ignored in most movies. 

Regardless of my opinion, if the inherent goofiness of people breaking out into song is off putting to you, or alternatively, if you are a strong musical fan who can't stand when actors don't have strong voices, then it wouldn't be worth watching. 

On the other hand, if quirky oddball movies with a strong sense of style and place are your kind of thing, then it's worth a watch. 

Women:

Many 

People of color:

Many 

Gratuitous nudity:

Nope

• Director: H.P. Mendoza
• Writer: H.P. Mendoza
• Actors: L.A. Renigen, Mike Curtis, Theresa Navarro, E.S. Park, H.P. Mendoza
• 94 min
• Musical
• IMDB

Surprise, Surprise (U.S. 2009)

The Gist:

A middle aged, closeted, TV actor deals with his recently disabled (and much younger boyfriend), his very weepy best friend, and the discovery that he has a teenage son.

Comments (with a couple of minor unimportant spoilers):

Considering that large sections of the movie are long monologues, where an actor bares his or her soul to the camera/audience while crying crocodile tears, it's a bit obvious that this was a play turned movie. One that can be summed up by a line of dialogue, where the actor, in talking about himself and his boyfriend, yells at his son: 

"We are lovers, no threat to you or anyone else!"

In other words, overly melodramatic, yet oddly timid in its defense of being gay. 

Ignoring the weirdness of timid melodrama, this is more or less a standard "Gays plus kids make a family" kind of movie. One element of this kind of story involving a kid who starts off a jerk, but turns into a good kid by the end. Unfortunately the movie went overboard with making the son an ass. By the time you get to the section of the movie where you should be sympathetic to the child, you still think he's an obnoxious idiot. Well, at least I did. 

In the end, it's the kind of movie where you spend more time wondering if the lead actor is also the writer/director/producer than you do paying attention to the movie.

Women:

Two. Best friend, and the kid's grandmother. 

People of color:

None. 

Gratuitous nudity:

None... well, at least I think it was none. I started only paying half attention to the movie halfway through so I guess there could have been entire monologues done in the nude that I only listened to instead of watched as I dealt with bills. 

• Director: Jerry Turner
• Writers: Travis Michael Holder, Jerry Turner
• Actors: Travis Michael Holder, Deborah Shelton, John Brotherton
• 83 min
• IMDB

Be Mine (US 2009)

The Gist:

Mason and friends reminisce about the distant past (last year) when he was obsessed with the idea that his first kiss with a man would be perfect and lead to true love.

Comments with many a spoiler:

In the movie we have:

• The just married that day protagonist spends the afternoon with his “sassy” black gay friend (instead of his husband).
• His just married that day husband spends the afternoon with friends (instead of the protagonist).
• Flashbacks to the day the newlyweds first met, where college kids act wacky and sassy at school.
• Flashbacks to the night the newlyweds first met, where college kids act wacky and sassy at a party.
• Flashbacks to the day after the party, where college kids no longer bother being wacky and sassy.
• A subdued party on the night of the wedding where the newlyweds finally spend time together.

Keep in mind that ALL of this happens in a movie barely over an hour long. Now in addition to that hodgepodge of events and scenes, mix in several minutes worth of establishing shots, add on poor acting, inconsistent sound, odd casting (these are very old looking college kids), bad gay clichés (Sassy African-American Queen) and you end up with a bit of a mess.

Which is an overly long introduction to simply say that this is not really a good movie.

A shame, because while having the protagonist fixated on his first “real” kiss with a man is kind of saccharin sweet; there is nothing necessarily wrong with the story of an inexperienced college kid longing for romance and first love.

Unfortunately, as can be gleaned from the plot outline quite a lot of time is spent not telling that story. If that weren’t bad enough, the aforementioned “issues” multiply against each other to the point where instead of a story about a college kid looking for love, it ends up feeling like a multi-hour long saga about drunk 30-somethings crashing a never ending frat party.

In the end, not worth the (admittedly short) time to watch it.

Women:

The protagonist’s white female best friend, a “wacky” white female friend, and party guests walking in the background.

People of Color:

The protagonist’s “Sassy” African-American gay friend and maybe one or two party guests walking in the background. For a wild party, it was kind of boring and I found myself only half paying attention to the movie by this point.

Gratuitous nudity:

A quick flash of skinny dipping butt shots

• Directors: Dave Padilla, Steven Vasquez
• Writer: Jeremy Huntington
• Actors: Dan Selon, Jared Welch
• 70 min
• IMDB

Aaron... Albeit a Sex Hero (US 2009)

The Gist:

It isn't bad enough that Aaron is stuck in a dead end job leading groups of retired women on movie themed tours around Austin. On his latest tour he has to deal with a hunky but annoying van driver, drug dealers, scorpions, henchmen, cops, tarantulas, rattlesnakes, and pretty much most of Texas, all trying to put him out of his misery. Aaron decides he’d rather not die and starts fighting back.

Comments with Spoiler:

If the sound were stable enough to consistently hear dialogue over background music. If the night scenes were shot in such a way that I could see what was happening. If the action “shoot out” scenes were done more believably. If all these were true, would I actually like the movie?  Maybe?

I tell myself that as long as there is a good story I can look past technical faults associated with low budget indie movies. Unfortunately, with this movie on top of the technical issues, there’s questionable acting, a weak plot that works only by having characters making one stupid decision after another, and most importantly, that I’m not necessarily predisposed to liking action movies, even one where the "good guys" spend just as much time trying to get into each other’s pants as they do shooting at bad guys.

That last bit counts as a spoiler by the way. While dealing with what feels like most of Texas out to get him, Aaron ends up arguing/flirting with a hot Latino van driver, making this a movie where the male leads f*ck the idea of platonic bromance action flick to death. Unfortunately for them, they are saddled with a recurring joke that every time our boys start to get it on, a shoot out soon follows.

If watching attractive men occasionally making out in badly light night scenes is enough incentive to put up with many assorted technical, plot, and acting “issues,” then the movie is worth a try... Maybe.

Women:

An annoying wife, a grandmother and a tour group of older women. All minor characters, who seem to exist solely for comedy relief. Athough frankly they are not that funny. 

People of color:

Some tour group women, some henchmen, and the Latino van driver.

Gratuitous Nudity:

“Sexy” shower scenes and a quick flash of full frontal when we learn that our Latino van driver goes “commando”… because character underwear status is important in action flicks?

• Director: Paul Bright
• Writer: Paul Bright
• Actors: Matthew Burnett, Rafiel Soto
• 82 min
• IMDB

Redwoods (US 2009)

The Gist:
Everett (Brendon Bradley), is a man in a comfortable but stale relationship where he and his partner appear to be together more for their autistic son than for each other. While partner and son are away on a trip, Everett meets writer Chase (Matthew Montgomery) and the two develop an instant passionate emotional and physical attraction for each other. Will Everett abandon responsibilities and family for his soulmate?

Possibly spoiler-ish comments:
While it never quite reaches the level of "good" I liked the movie more than I did not. There's a core of potential in it, although if edited to remove the extraneous elements, it would be a very short story featuring pretty much only the leads and shots of the Redwoods. At times shots of trees and nature are the best thing going for the movie.

Which is harsher criticism than it deserves. Compared to other low budget movies, it is fairly well acted, not totally one dimensional, and makes good use of the Russian River locale.

The movie does deserve some credit. In order to ensure that Everett is not cast in any sort of negative light for wanting to jump on top of Matthew Montgomery, a less well done version would have gone for painting everything in stark black and white instead of gray, and cast Everett’s boyfriend as cruel instead of merely dull.

Having the son be autistic (at least I think he is supposed to be autistic) to add to Everett's internal conflict might be a bit over the top, but then again, maybe it was the easiest way of downplaying the option of simply breaking up and working out shared custody of their son.

The biggest problem with the movie though is the ending, which nearly negates everything I wrote implying that the movie was not overly simplistic. I won't spoil it, but it goes way too far into "wrap everything up and put a bow on top" territory taking it from what could be real life into movie drama land.

While not a great movie, it is fine for what it is, a fairly low budget gay flick that tells a story where people just happen to be gay instead of a "gay story."

Women:
A few minor roles of mother, friend, and cousin. Considering that the movie is very sparsely populated (other than the two leads there's barely anyone else in it) this isn't too bad.

People of color:
Seems the Russian River area is all white.

Gratuitous nudity:
A couple of full frontal shots (not of the leads) that having nothing to do with the story or plot and are little more than distractions that pull you out of the movie. There's also a quick flash of flesh that depending on your attitude towards showing skin during love scenes may or may not count as gratuitous.

• Director: David Lewis
• Writer: David Lewis
• Actors: Matthew Montgomery, Brendon Bradley
• 82 min
• IMDB