Sauna of the Dead: A Fairy Tale (UK 2016)

The Gist:

A bored man goes to a bath house just in time for a zombie attack.

Comments:

A short film where we have men getting together for sex turning into a zombie horror story. Considering this setup I expected the movie to turn into a metaphor about AIDS. It didn’t, which I guess says more about me than the movie, specifically my age, that my first thought was of course a story like this would use zombies as metaphor either for AIDS or fear of AIDS.   

But again, it doesn't. There is metaphor happening, but for a much more modern (or not) issue of making a human connection instead of just using each other for meaningless sex, which could count as spoiler, but I’m deciding doesn’t since the movie broadcasts this idea fairly quickly early on in its short run time. 

I’m not a huge horror person, but this is done rather well and worth checking out. 

Women:

No

People of color:

Yes 

Gratuitous nudity:

No, everyone manages to keep a towel on, even when turned into flesh eating undead 

• Director: Tom Frederic
• Writer: Tom Frederic
• Actors: Tom Frederic, Kumar Muniandy
• Short film 
• 21 minutes
• IMDB 

Catalina: A New Kind of Superhero (UK 2009)

The Gist:

During a war, in outer space, a ship crashes on Earth, resulting in a man named Ben gaining superpowers further complicating his confusing life, including hiding the fact he is a transvestite from his girlfriend. 

Also other stuff happens with a cyberpunk side story about a man who is physically connected to a computer; the leader of the space people is on Earth (on vacation? in retirement? on assignment?); Ben's ex-girlfriend sings a song for some reason; and there is also a criminal mastermind with multiple personalities, except maybe the variant personalities are actually separate people she somehow absorbed into her mind? 

Comments:

If not clear from the plot description, a ton of stuff is crammed into the movie. Science fiction space opera, cyberpunk drama, crime comedy, semi-comedic superhero origin story, “real life” trials of transvestism, space spy thriller, and much more all piled and packed on top of each other until there’s nothing left but a muddled mess that doesn’t manage to succeed at being good at any of its parts. The comedy doesn’t work, the cyberpunk story makes no sense, the space opera plot is aggressively convoluted, and on and on and on. 

Besides the issue of a muddled mess of a story, there’s also trouble with terrible acting, bad editing, and cheap looking CGI in a story designed to be filled to overflowing with special effects. I’m willing to forgive a lot with low budget movies, but there are too many problems going on to ignore. The worst problem being that it is boring. 

In a addition to dull it also manages to throw out a line of dialogue insulting to gay men, where the lead’s ex-girlfriend says something to effect of “you may wear dresses but at least you’re not gay, eww.” 

A throwaway bit of homophobia in a movie that ends up on lists of LGBTQ movies due to the transvestite lead. Though as the lead ex-girlfriend states transvestite does not equal “gay.” There are some who’d agree, arguing that transvestism is not a LGBTQ issue. I’m not going to get into that other to say that it does bring up the issue of who the heck this was intended for? Who is the intended audience for a transvestite, super hero, space opera, spy, cyber punk, crime, comedy? A really bad one that is. 

Women: 

Yes 

People of color:

No (It’s possible some of the actors in “alien” makeup may not have been white... maybe) 

Gratuitous nudity:

Yes, a lone pointless butt shot 

• Director: Kenneth D Barker
• Writer: Kenneth D Barker
• Actors: Nathan Lubbock-Smith, Cleone Cassidy
• 98 minutes
• IMDB

Dream On (U.K. 2013)

The Gist:

In 1988, painfully shy, teenager Paul is dragged along by his overbearing mother to a Welsh campsite. There he meets his polar opposite, loud, brash outgoing teenager George, who has parental problems of his own. The two boys have an immediate deep connection and make a pact to return to the campsite one year later to run away together. A year passes and Paul returns in search of George. 

Comments (with minor spoilers):

This movie was adapted from a play, although unlike some other play-to-movies I've seen, this one makes the transition fairly well. It's not overly obvious that it wasn't a movie to begin with; no long heart-bearing monologues directed at the camera/audience, or other oddities that work better on stage.

So we have two teenage boys who fall in love during a summer holiday, which sounds like an overly sweet romance story. This isn't that. It's actually a somewhat depressing melodrama. Lots and lots of drama stemming from the (obvious and not too spoilery) fact that both boys, though mainly George, have a lot of baggage to deal with. 

Frankly the over the top nature of the melodrama was a bit too much for me. It quickly gets exhausting. Other negatives included not always being able to understand dialogue due to thick accents, the somewhat slow pace of storytelling, the two lead actors looking more than a touch older than sixteen, and the fact that the older I get the less I believe in the idea of true immediate, soul-mate, type love, at least not when said true love involves teenagers. 

If that last bit hasn't happened to you yet, you can look forward to someday deciding that Romeo and Juliet is not the greatest love story every written and is is actually a cautionary tale about what happens when two drama queen teenagers who fall in love at the drop of a hat, meet and disaster ensues. 

Back to the movie, on the plus side, it is more or less an interesting story of a teenager working his way towards adulthood, discovering who he is as a man. Granted an overly soap opera style DRAMA filled one for my taste, but still, in the end even if I didn't overly enjoy it, I can admit that it is, if not actually a very good movie, it is at least an okay one. 

Women: 
Yes

People of color:
No 

Gratuitous nudity: 
A butt shot 

• Director: Lloyd Eyre-Morgan
• Writer: Lloyd Eyre-Morgan
• Actors: Bradley Cross, Joe Gosling, Janet Bamford, Emily Spowage
• 94 min
• IMDB

Sunday Bloody Sunday (U.K. 1971)

The Gist:

Alex, a divorced woman (Glenda Jackson), and Hirsch, an older Jewish gay man (Peter Finch), are both involved with the same younger man, an artist named Bob (Murray Head). They each know of the other, and both are, or at least claim to be, content with the situation, of only being part of Bob's life rather than the whole, but life can be difficult and things change.

Comments:

Unlike many of the previous movies I've mentioned here, this is not a small independent "gay" flick. This is Schlesinger. This is a Film with a capital "F."

It's also very good. These are well defined characters driving the story forward. More so, while two of the characters are gay/bi, their sexual orientation is just part of who they are rather than their sole driving motivating factor. This is something we still don't get that often in movies when it comes to minorities. People who are people rather than people who are a label and nothing else. 

They may not be the happiest of people, but that's just because of what this story is, of settling, compromise and acceptance. It is not a punishment for breaking the rules of heterosexuality. In context of time, the early 70's, it's pretty amazing, letting a gay character just "be" instead of being a clown, villain, or victim. This is some groundbreaking stuff here. Treating a kiss between the male characters in exactly the same manner as a kiss between a male and female character is still considered edgy to some extent. 

Even the focus of the movie, on Hirsch and Alex, the older people of the story rather than on younger Bob is is an unusual choice considering how youth obsessed culture was then and now. Although frankly, as written, young artist Bob is the least interesting of the trio, so that is maybe not that surprising. 

It's not a happy cheerful story, and is at times very 1970's "FILM," so may not appeal to everyone, but it is worth trying if you're in the mood for a "FILM" instead of just a "flick." If nothing else, Peter Finch's final monologue is worth seeing. 

Women:

Many 

People of color: 

One man 

Gratuitous nudity:

Some nudity, but debatable if the word gratuitous applies. 

• Director: John Schlesinger
• Writer: Penelope Gillatt
• Actors: Peter Finch, Glenda Jackson, Murray Head
• 110 min
• IMDB

Stud Life (UK 2012)

The Gist:

When 'Stud' lesbian JJ falls for femme fatal Elle, her life is thrown out of whack. As this goes on her best friend Seb makes poor choices of his own when it comes to men. 

Comments with a minor spoiler:

We are big time lesbian drama here, of the Stud variety. If you're unfamiliar with the term, a stud is essentially a very butch dyke.  More so, JJ is an uber butch, a stone butch. She is so butch that this source of strength for her becomes a weakness in that she ends up being overly rigid in life which is where the drama comes in,  as even though Elle is a femme and theoretically they should fit fine as a couple, it turns out that being with Elle may force JJ to be more flexible in her expectations of life and love. 

Despite being set in modern day London, the movie feels sort of oddly old fashioned. I'm guessing much of this comes from the strict Butch and Femme pairing, as if this were a 1950's period piece when it was survival tactic for a lesbian couple to only be a femme paired with a butch who could pass as a man if needed. 

This "old fashioned" interpretation of the movie is just me however, coming from my own biases, since JJ's world of strict butch / femme determination of roles is foreign to my experiences. The lesbians I know in real life joke about femme and butch rather than follow them as strict guides. Interestingly, to me at least, while I am unfamiliar with that aspect of the movie, another part, one where lesbians and gay men get to be best friends is totally in my realm of experience. One where queer women and men don't spend their lives isolated from each other (vs. how many 'gay' movies portray the world, as a place where queer men barely know any women at all let alone lesbians, let alone be friends with them). 

In the end the movie is okay for what it is, an average quality romantic melodrama.  

Women:

Yes

People of color:

Yes, much of the cast

Gratuitous nudity: 

Yes

• Director: Campbell X
• Writer: Campbell X
• Actors: T'Nia Miller, Kyle Treslove, Robyn Kerr
• 91 min
• IMDB

Heaven's A Drag (aka To Die For) (U.K. 1994)

The Gist:

After his drag queen performer lover dies of AIDS, a man is set on moving on with his life of meaningless hook ups as soon as possible. His drag queen performer lover's ghost on the other hand disagrees. 

Comments: 

The stereotype of "AIDS" movies is that they are dreary and depressing, but this is about a ghost using tricks to interfere with his lover from, er, tricking with other men. It should be a version of Topper, where dead Cary Grant is gay and teaches Cosmo to fully live life. It should have its sad moments yes, but in the end be fun and up-lifting.

It's not.

Instead it's a movie where:

1. A gay couple avoids dealing with their issues.
2. The drag queen half of the couple is sad because he will soon die from AIDS.
3. The non-drag queen half of the couple acts like a jerk.

The drag queen half of the couple dies, leading to the second half of the story where:

1. A gay couple avoids dealing with their issues.
2. The drag queen half of the couple is sad because he has died from AIDS.
3. The non-drag queen half of the couple acts like a jerk.

Well, in truth, there is more to it,  lessons are learned, and amusing ghost tricks are tricked, it's just that instead of fun and uplifting it ends up being kind of dreary and depressing. In addition, it's dark and muddy looking, the sound quality is iffy, and the comedy relief neighbor is anything but funny.

All in all, this is only really worth watching as proof just how depressed everyone was in the day, so that even comedies were sad and dark, or better yet, just go watch Topper instead. 

Women:

Two. A mom and the unfunny comedy relief neighbor. The joke being that she's desperate to marry her boyfriend, because a woman wanting a committed relationship is apparently hilarious. 

People of color:

Nope

Gratuitous nudity:

Minor

• Director: Peter Mackenzie Litten
• Writers: Johhny Byrne, Peter Mackenzie Litten
• Actors: Ian Williamsn, Thomas Arklie, Dillie Keane
• 101 min
• IMDB