Guys and Balls (Männer wie wir) (Germany 2004)

The Gist:

Ecki is the golden boy star goalie of his town's football (soccer) team. That is until he's accidentally outed one drunk night after a bad game. After he is kicked off the team for being gay, he vows to form a gay team to play against his former teammates, heading out to the big city to do just that.

Comments (with spoiler):

This is pretty much the definitive "Gay athlete joins a gay team to victory" movie. That is: 

1. Athlete comes out/is outed.
2. Athlete gets kicked off team.
3. Athlete joins an existing or forms a new rag tag gay team
4. Gay team plays his old straight team and wins proving that gays are just as tough as the straights! 

While all this technically counts as a spoiler, the story should not be a surprise to anyone who's ever seen a movie before. While fairly predictable, the movie is actually fair to good, though with some issues. 

Considering some of the jokes, and that the gay team ends up being an assembly of assorted gay stereotypes, it's pretty clear that the movie was written/intended for a wide audience not too familiar with gay culture. Although to be fair, the S&M guys and others are much less over the top than you would expect in an American movie.

Despite this, it's still worth a watch if you feel like something unchallenging and cute, though obviously not if you hate soccer.

Women: 

Sister, mother, would-be girlfriends, in other words, the real world

People of color:

A few of the gay teammates

Gratuitous nudity:

Some minor locker room stuff as a joke

• Director: Sherry Horman
• Writer: Benedict Gollhardt
• Actors: Maximilian Brückner, Dietmar Bär
• 106 min
• IMDB

Eleven Men Out (Strákarnir Okkar) (Iceland 2005)

The Gist:

Ottar Thor, a star football (soccer) player comes out of the closet during a magazine interview in order to improve the odds of his being the cover story. He gets the cover, but is also kicked off the team as well. While dealing with the repercussions, he joins a gay amateur football (soccer) team and soon enough they will play an exhibition game against his old team, on gay pride day appropriately enough. 

Not really spoilery comments: 

While from the description it sounds exactly like the "Outted athlete joins a gay team to victory" sub genre of gay movie I've joked about before, this doesn't quite exactly follow the path laid out for it. 

For one thing, for a sports movie, very few games are actually played. Another reason, an unfortunate one, is that it spends quite a lot of time with how other people, his friends and family, deal with Ottar's announcement of being gay, rather focusing clearly on him. Unfortunate, because it was a bit annoying watching his parents and others freaking out about how his being gay would negatively affect their lives.

The division of time spent on Ottar's vs everyone else also means that by the end of the movie, he remains the same vague and undefined jerk as he is at the beginning. 

Interestingly, this is not a romanticized view of Iceland. As seen here the entire country is cold, dark, and wet from near constant downpours, and there is little to do other than get drunk. Not exactly a tourist board postcard view. 

In the end it's not a bad movie, just one that ends up being a little boring. 

Women: 

Yes

People of color: 

Some

Gratuitous nudity:

Locker room shots

• Director: Róbert I. Douglas
• Writer: Róbert I. Douglas
• Actors: Björn Hlynur Haraldsson, Helgi Björnsson, Arnmundur Ernst Björnsson
• 85 min
• IMDB

KickOff (UK 2010)

The Gist:

A gay 5 man Sunday football (soccer) league team, whose members all have issues to deal with, are about to play their first game. Unfortunately it's against the toughest bad rep team in the league (whose members also all have issues to deal with).

Comments:

The movie has many elements that should have made me love it: a large multicultural cast, varied sexuality, it's loud and bright, and sharp yet playful. Instead I just thought it was barely ok. 

Unfortunately instead of coming off as natural and a reflection of the real world, it  feels formulaic and kind of preachy. Every footballer has an issue to work through, and each one is given time to do so, leading to a story juggling drugs, internalized homophobia, questions of paternity, metrosexual-phobia, and more, and more, and more, to the point that the repetitiveness of looping subplots gets a little exhausting. So much is going on (and quickly resolved) that it's difficult to care about anyone.

Still, it's not a bad movie, just a really weak one.  Rikki Beadle Blair is the best thing in it, although in the end, watching him play a fey, gay dad of an angst-y teen made me wish I were instead watching him play a fey, gay dad of an agnst-y teen in Metrosexuality (a great British TV show).

Women:

Yes

People of color:

Yes

Gratuitous nudity:

One joke scene

• Director: Rikki Beadle Blair
• Writer: Rikki Beadle Blair
• Actors: Duncan MacInnes, Ian Sharp, Ludvig Bonin, Rikki Beadle Blair
• 99 min
• IMDB